Digital Resources for Adoption Topics
The internet can be a marvelous resource for adoptive parents seeking adoption support services, as well as education for adoption related issues. We have compiled a list of resources for families who wish to learn more about adoption, the adoption process, and issues that affect families who have chosen adoption.
Adopt America Network —partners with hundreds of public and private organizations across the country, matching waiting children with eager families. adoptamericanetwork.org
Adoptee Rights Coalition — Adoptees lead this coalition of adoptees, original families, and adoptive families. They lobby for legislation that gives adult adoptee unconditional access to Original Birth Certificates. Adopteerightscoalition.com
Adoption.com — Contains a wide variety of adoption topics and resources for families. adoption.com
Raise the Future formerly The Adoption Exchange — Raise the Future recruits families for children who have survived abuse and neglect, supports adoptive families throughout every phase of the adoption process, and trains child welfare professionals. The Adoption Exchange maintains a national training presence, and connects children in eight member states CO, MO, NV, NM, OK, SD, UT and WY with American families living here and abroad. raisethefuture.org
Adoptioninformation.com — A resource for families considering adoption. It contains articles, resources and tips for people considering or those who already have adopted. adoptioninformation.com
Adoption Institute — The Adoption Institute’s mission is to provide leadership that improves adoption laws, policies and practices – through sound research, education and advocacy – in order to better the lives of everyone touched by adoption.
AdoptionMuseumProject.org — creates interactive museum experiences to help expand the understanding of adoption and to develop a commitment to justice issues associated with it. adoptionmuseumproject.org
AdoptUsKids — The mission of AdoptUsKids is two-fold: to raise public awareness about the need for foster and adoptive families for children in the public child welfare system; and to assist U.S. states, territories and tribes to recruit and retain foster and adoptive families and connect them. AdoptUsKids.org
America’s Kids Belong — “Uniting government, faith-based, business and creative communities to end the foster care and adoption crisis in the U.S. – state by state.” americaskidsbelong.org
American Adoption Congress — An international organization providing education to professionals and the adoption constellation. americanadoptioncongress.org
BeyondConsequences.com — Provides helpful articles and resources for adoptive parents. beyondconsequences.com
Bleeding Hearts — a blog written by an adoptee/first mother/adoptee rights activist with a strong focus on the intersection between faith and adoption. bleedingheartsadoption.wordpress.com
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption — This site provides adoption facts, information, free resources, myths and misrepresentations. They have an amazing links page that has to be visited. It is broken up into categories and is one of the most comprehensive links pages available. davethomasfoundation.org
Dream Makers Project – Funds opportunities for youth aging out of foster care. dreammakersproject.org
Growing Intentional Families Together—Offers coaching services before, during, and after adoption. GIFT does not facilitate adoptions. All coaches are adoptive parents and certified professionals. Authors Sally Ankerfelt and Gayle Swift are two of the co-founders. GIFTfamilyServices.com
National Adoption Center — The National Adoption Center expands adoption opportunities for children living in foster care throughout the United States. It is a resource to families and to agencies who seek the permanency of caring homes for children. adopt.org
National Child Welfare Resource Center for Adoption — Information to aid with special needs adoption programs as well as resources available through the NRCA. Also offered are web links to other helpful organizations and publications with a particular emphasis on working with special needs adoption.
North American Council on Adoptable Children — Great resource for information on Title IV-E Adoption Assistance program for each state and Canadian province as well as comprehensive post-adoption support resources. NACAC.org
Partnership for Permanence—is also known as P4P — “an organization for former foster youth and adoptees coming together to raise awareness and actively work to improve the child welfare system.” While their own personal experiences may have been imperfect, they have taken this experience and channeled it into a desire to help others. They use their personal insights about what helped them and what failed them to improve the experience for children currently in the foster care system. partnershipsforpermanence.org
fp365 — “Is a global family preservation movement. Our mission is to empower vulnerable, expectant mothers and prevent family separation. fp365 is dedicated to building a strong foundation of advocates willing to provide local support, networking and community involvement.”
Tapestry Books — This website specializes in books related to adoption for children, adults and professionals. It includes fiction and non-fiction. tapestrybooks.com
Together We Rise — Supports children in foster care. It spearheads three programs: Sweet Cases which provides duffle bags to replace trash bags, Build A Bike which provides bicycles to kids aging out of care, and the Family Fellowship Scholarship Program which provides scholarships to kids aging out of care. togetherwerise.org
Voice for Adoption — Voice for Adoption is a national collaboration of child welfare organizations whose mission is to speak with policy makers representing the interests of foster children awaiting adoption and the families who adopt them. voice-for-adoption.org
Dear Adoption is a platform which shares a vast array of experiences as lived by those most affected by adoption: adoptees. DA, exists to elevate adoptee voices and shift the narrative surrounding adoption to better educate society. DearAdoption.com
Growing Intentional Families Together (GIFT Family Services) offers many resources to families before, during, and after adopting; it does not facilitate adoptions. A weekly blog is one of the many resources available on this website. GIFTfamilyServices.com
Lavender Luz — blog maintained by Lori Holden, author of the Open-hearted Way to Open Adoption. She is an adoptive parent and open adoption advocate. Her blog has won numerous awards and was named a Top Adoption Blogger by Adoptive Families magazine. LavenderLuz.com
No Apologies for Being Me— blog written by activist, author and adoptee, Lynn Grubb about life as an adoptee. The site includes many excellent resources. noapologiesforbeingme.blogspot.com
Portrait of an Adoption — curated by award-winning author and adoptive mom Carrie Goldman. Every November she features a roster of guest bloggers who represent the varying perspectives of the adoption constellation. chicagonow.com/portrait-of-an-adoption
Writing to Connect — reviews general interest books through an Adoption-attuned lens. Written by Gayle H. Swift, it outlines ways families can use books that are not directly about adoption to deftly raise adoption-sensitive topics. GaylehSwift.com/blog
Adoptees On hosted by adoptee Haley Radke features adult adoptees sharing their experiences and insights.
Adoption-attuned Parenting Essentials explores how parents can best relate and connect to their adopted child. GIFT coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, share constructive tips and tools for building a strong foundation for adoptive families.
Adoption: The Long View Lori Holden, author of The Open-hearted Way to Open Adoption interviews various figures in the adoption constellation with a perspective of the long view.
Recommended Reading for Age Groups
20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed: Discover the Unique Need of Your Adopted Child and Become the Best Parent You Can, Sherrie Eldridge
20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge
Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools, Lynn Grubb
Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special Needs Kids, A Guide for Parents and Professionals, Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky
Adoption Is A Family Affair!, Patricia Irwin Johnston
Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connection, Jean MacLeod, Sheena Macrae, PhD.
The Adoptive & Foster Parent Guide: How to Heal Your Child’s Trauma and Loss (Volume 1). Carol Lozier, LCSW
Attaching Through Love, Hugs and Play, Deborah D. Gray
Beyond Consequences, Logic & Control, Heather Forbes, LCSW
The Body Keeps Score, Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, Dan Siegel
The Connected Child, Karyn Purvis, Ph.D.
Connecting with Kids through Stories: Using Narratives to Facilitate Attachment in Adopted Children, Denise B. Lacher, et al
Dare to Love, Heather Forbes, LCSW
Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Fostered Youth (The AN-YA Project), Diane Rene Christian
The Family of Adoption, Joyce Maguire Pavao
The Five Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman, PhD. and Ross Campbell, MD.
Flip the Script: Adult Adoptee Anthology (The AN-YA Project) Paperback, 2015 by M. C. Maltempo (Author), Diane René Christian (Editor), Amanda H.L. Transue Woolston (Editor), Rosita González (Editor)
Help for Billy, Heather Forbes, LCSW
Hope for Healing: A Parent’s Guide to Trauma and Attachment, Association for Training n Trauma and Attachment in Children (ATTACH), Paperback, 2001.
It’s Not about You: Reunion, Search and Open Adoption, Brooke Randolph, LMHC.
Life Books: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child, Beth O’Malley, M.ED.
My Foster Care Journey, Beth O’Malley, M.ED.
The Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting, Rebecca Eames
No Matter What, Sally Donovan
The Open-hearted Way to Open Adoption, Lori Holden with Crystal Hass
Perpetual Child: Adult Adoptee Anthology: Dismantling the Stereotype (The AN-YA Project), Diane René Christian (Author), Amanda H.L. Transue-Woolston (Editor)
Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith, Sally Ankerfelt, M. Div. and Gayle H. Swift
Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past, Betsy Keefer & Jayne E. Schooler
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge
Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting, Sally Donovan and Dr. Vivien Norris
The Unofficial Guide to Therapeutic Parenting—-The Teen Years, Sally Donovan
You Don’t Look Adopted, Anne Heffron
Your Adoption Guidebook, Deanna Kahler
ABC, Adoption & Me: A Multicultural Picture Book Gayle H. Swift with Casey A. Swift
All Bears Need Love, Tanya Valentine
A Mother for Choco, Keiko Kasza
Billy Bramble and the Great Big Cook Off, Sally Donovan
Forever Fingerprints, Sherrie Eldridge
How I Was Adopted, Joanna Cole
In Our Mother’s House, Patricia Polacco
Jazzy’s Quest: Adopted and Amazing, Carrie Goldman and Juliet C. Bond LCSW
Little Branch Gets Adopted, Sherrie Eldridge
Motherbridge of Love, anonymous
A Place in My Heart, Mary Grossnickle.
Rosie’s Family: An Adoption Story, Lori Rosove,
Star of the Week, Darlene Friedman
Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born, Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell
Through Moon and Stars and Night Skies, Ann Turner
We’re Adopted, So What, Gayle H. Swift and Casey A. Swift
We See the Moon, Carrie Kitze
Your Adoption Guidebook, Deanna Kahler
Bibliography and Index
Association for Training on Trauma and Attachment in Children (ATTACH), Paperback, 2001. Hope for Healing: A Parent’s Guide to Trauma and Attachment,
Augsberger, David, Caring Enough to Hear and Be Heard, Regal Books, 1982.
Ballard, Robert, Editor. Pieces of Me: Who do I Want to Be, EMK Press; First edition, 2009
Brodzinsky, David. Being Adopted: The Lifelong search for Self. Anchor Book, 1993
Christian, Diane Rene et al. Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Fostered Youth (The AN- YA Project) Amazon Digital Services, 2014
Covey Stephen. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Cambridge: Simon & Schuster; 1989
Cruver, Dan. The First Step in the Way Forward: A Response to David M. Smolin’s “Of Orphans and Adoption. Journal of Christian Legal Thought, Spring 2013
Dennis, Laura, Editor Adopted Reality: A Memoir. Entourage Publishing, 2 Edition
Dennis, Laura, Adoption Therapy: Perspectives from Clients and Clinicians on Processing and Healing Post-Adoption Issues. Entourage Publishing, 2014
Eldridge, Sherrie. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Delta, 1999
Eshelman, Lark, Ph.D. Becoming A Family: Promoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child, Taylor Trade Publishing, New York, 2003
Forbes, Heather T., LCSW. Dare to Love, Boulder: BCI, 2009
Gardner, Howard, Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, Basic Books; 3 edition, 2011
Grubb, Lynn et al. The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools,
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Heidegger, Martin, Being and Time, 1927
Holden, Lori and Crystal Hass. The Open-hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow up Whole. Lanham: Rowman and Littlefield Publishers. 2013
Johnston, Patricia Irwin. Adoption is a Family Affair. Jessica Kingsley Publishers. 2 editions, 2012
Joyce, Kathryn. The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption. New York: Public Affairs, 2013
Keefer, Betsey and Jayne Schooler, Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past, Bergin & Garvey Trade; 1 edition, 2000
Lipton, Bruce. Ph.D.. The Biology of Belief. Original copyright @2005 by Bruce Lipton. Revised copright@2008 by Mountain of Love Productions. Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA, New York City, London, Sydney, Johannesburg, Vancouver, Hong Kong, New Delhi
Naftziger, Katie. Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2017
Nydam, Ronald J., Adoptees Come of Age,
Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1999
Pavao, Joyce Maguire. The Family of Adoption. Beacon Press, 2005
Purvis, Karen, Ph. D. and David R. Cross, Wendy Lyons. The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adopted Child. Sunshine, McGraw Hill Education
Perry, M.D., Ph.D., Bruce D. The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child
Psychiatrist’s Notebook—What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us about Loss, Love, and Healing. Basic Books, 2017
Randolph, LMHC, Brooke, Editor. It’s Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, and Open Adoption, Mumbai: Entourage Publishing. 2017
Riley, Debbie, Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens, C.A.S.E. Publications, 2005
Schooler, Jane et al. Wounded Children Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families, NavPress
Siegel, M.D., Dan and Tina Payne Bryson. The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind. Bantam: 2012
Siegel, Daniel J. The Neurobiology of We –CD Set, Mind Your Brain, 2008
Smolin, David. Of Orphans and Adoption, Parents and the Poor, Exploitation and Rescue: A Scriptural and Theological Critique of the Evangelical Christian Adoption and Orphan Care Movement. Samford University. 2012
Solomon, Andrew. Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity. Scribner. 2012
van der Kolk, M.D., Bessel. The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma. New York: Viking. 2014
Verrier, Nancy. The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child. Louisville: Gateway Press, 1993
Wieirzbiki, Michael. Psychological Adjustment of Adoptees: A Meta-Analysis, Pages 447-454 | Published online: 07 Jun 2010, https://doi.org/10.1207/s15374424jccp2204_5
Ziegler, Ph.D., Dave, Traumatic Experience and the Brain: A Handbook for Understanding and Treating Those Traumatized as Children, Phoenix, Acacia Publishing
“blank slates”, 148
“Closed” adoptions, 54
“original belonging.”, 63
“permanent children”, 55
“public” life histories, 32
“shame” of an unplanned pregnancy, 113
“shoulding” on adoptees, 105
“sin” of unwed pregnancy, 113
“unsanitized” language, 157
“Unsanitized” Language, 150
abandonment, 83
Abraham, 84
accountability, 95
acknowledge missteps, 95
adopted
as Children of God, 69
Adoptee
as Big Winner, 113
Adoptee Rights Coalition, 53
adoptees
as inferior, 38
Adoptees as broken, 36
adoption
as a “joke”, 39
as a family experience, 121
as a fresh start, 63
as a life-long journey, 78
as blessing, 30
as declaration of faith, 35
as emotional tug of war, 51
as healing barrenness, 145
as heroic, 29
as rescue, 113
as way to “visit”, 69
cause to win souls, 23
in the media, 39
Adoption
as Christian duty, 35
as label, 38
as positive solution, 118
blends gain and losses, 34
Adoption History Project, 54
adoption industry, 26
adoption statistics, 154
Adoption statistics, 33
Adoption Takes Away the Pain of Infertility
Adoption Takes Away the Pain of Infertility, 34
adoption training, 98
Adoption-attuned counsel, 107
Adoption-attuned response, 105
Adoption-attuned support, 41
adoption-attunement
as Sixth element of Hierarchy of Needs, 50
Adoption-attunement, 12, 99
Adoption-attunement Elements, 12
Adoption-attunement Quotient, 11
adoption-competency, 118
adoption-connected needs, 125
adoptive-parent focused, 113
alliances, 70
amended birth certificate, 71
American Exceptionalism, 21
Ancestry.com, 49
AQ, 11, 53
as the abortion alternative
as the abortion alternative, 39
attachment
fear of, 111
Attachment, 235
attachment complexity, 112
Attachment Process, 109
attunement, 12
baby
as evidence of sin, 31
baby as a sin, 92
Baby Scoop Era, 27, 30
backhanded compliments, 30
baptized, 32
bastardy, 31
Behavior
as language of trauma, 111
Belief
Adoption Is All Good, Yet Inferior, 28
Belief that America Knows Best and Is Best, 20
belonging, 42
to both birth and adoptive families, 75
betrayal, 31
Bias, 26
biblical mandate, 66
Biological Psychiatry, 85
biological roots, 36
biology imposes the sentence, 85
birth certificates
amended, 53
birth family’s permanent role, 125
Birth grandparents, 116
birth heritage, 123
blessing
of forgiveness, 95
BM, 158
Booker, Leslie, 102
both/and, 163
both/and dualities, 128
brokenness, 73
called to adopt, 132
Certificate of Adoption, 54
choose to parent, 114
chosen, 164
Christian adoption movement, 64
closed adoptions, 62
cock’s crow, 32
command to adopt, 91
compassion, 98
compassionate witness., 105
Conflating Adoption and Abortion
Conflating Adoption and Abortion, 39
control, 121
Covey, Steven, 122
crisis pregnancy, 114
Cruver, Dan, 68
Cultural Belief
Adoptees Do Not Need To Know about Their Birth Families, 45
Cultural Practices, 36
cultural pressure, 155
Dan Cruver, 69, 73
Deuteronomy, 86
differences, respecting and nurturing, 126
Disclosure, 55
disruption, 162
Dissolution, 162
DNA, 25
Dr. Daniel Siegel, 11
Dr. Mark Umbreit, 16
Dr. Steven Porges, 11
dual heritages., 36
either/or perspective, 161
elements of AQ, 99
embodying radical presence, 102
Emotional Bank Account, 122
Emotional Intelligence, 100
Emotional Sanctuary, 106
empathy, 103
Epigenetics, 85
EQ, 100
erase first families, 77
fallen woman, 31
false equivalence, 90
family
expanded definition, 72
first family, 63
forever family, 162
forgiveness, 95
FP365, 115
Fracture Accepted at the Font, 62
fractured parental relationships, 109
Full adoption, 64
fundraisers, 27
funeral, 60
Garden of — or how we should change to accommodate this diversity, 103
gaslighting, 47
Genealogical information
as source of stability and roots, 50
genealogical roots, 123
General Biblical Themes, 82
General Cultural Beliefs, 19
Gethsemane, 105
Gethsemane experiences, 150
ghost status, 33
Gift from God, 165
God
as broken-hearted, 77
God grieves, 142
God’s opinion, 169
God’s role in adoption, 143
God’s will, 131, 135
Golden Rule, 128, 151
gossip, 119
grateful, 164
Great Commission Mandate, 67
grief and loss issues, 101
Grubb, Lynn, 115
healing trauma, 98
Hedeigger, Martin, 155
heirlooms, 126
heritage, 76
Hierarchy of Needs., 50
High AQ, 12
Holocaust, 98
Homilies, 108
honesty, 104
house of being, 155
identity, 36, 88
infertility, 127
Infertility, 34
influence
influence understanding and interpretation of Scripture, 41
information
belongs to child, 119
Innate Talents, 126
James 1:27, 90
Jesus, 119
Job, 135
John Winthrop, 21
joint scenario, 160
joke, 39
Joseph, 71, 136
Journal of Psychiatric Neuroscience and Therapeutics, 85
Joyce, Kathryn, 22
justifying adoption, 133
language
transparency, 150
Language matters, 163
Language shapes experience, 147
Levine , Dr. Peter, 51
love as motive for relinquishment, 164
lucky, 164
Luke 15: 11-32, 89
Mark 8:29, 88
Maslow , Abraham, 49
Maté, Dr. Gabor, 85, 98
Matthew 5:-16, 101
Mementos, 125
metaphor, 148
money, 46
Money as a complicating factor, 160
Moses, 82
mother/child relationship, 83
Multiple Intelligences, 11
Nancy Verrier, 28
Normalization of Fracture, 60
Nydam, Ronald, 52
OBCs, 56
open adoption
in the absence of direct interaction, 61
Open Adoption, 37, 232, 235
Open records, 56
original belonging, 74
Original Blessing, 73
Orphan and the Widow, 65
Orphan Train movement, 22
otherness, 38
PAL, 149
parental discouragement, 110
parenting blueprint
blueprint, 118
parents
resolve own grief and loss issues, 127
perfection, 37
platitudes, 153
playfulness, 122
Positive Adoption Language, 149
Positive intention, 167
power of words, 147
pre-birth matching, 159
prenatal stress, 85
President of Adoptees Rights Coalition, 115
presuppositions, 99
primal connection, 33
primal need for information about one’s origins, 124
privacy boundaries, 120
privacy violations, 119
prodigal son, 89
Project of Salvation, 22
Psalm 127, 88
Psalm 139, 88
Psalms, 87
RAD, 112
rape, 87
Reactive Attachment Disorder, 112
real, 161
reconciliation, 95
Records
unsealed, 56
registry of social service agencies, 114
rehoming, 162
relationship building, 122
relinquishment
as act of love, 67
Relinquishment, 32
rescue, 26
resisting attachment, 110
respectful language, 158
Restorative dialogue, 17
right to exist, 45
safety, 143
sanitizing language, 30
Saving Our Sisters, 115
Schooler, Jane, 111
Scriptural Interpretation
Supported the fracture of amilies, 59
Scripture
as message of exclusion, 81
sealed records, 32, 52
Sealed records
as anachronism, 53
searching, 47
Secrecy, 32
Secrets, 51
self-worth, 45
sermon, 77, 86
Seward Longfellow Restorative Justice Partnership, 16
shame, 32
of infertility, 29
Shame, 51
Share knowledge, 100
sharing information, 119
Shroyer, Danielle, 73
Siegel, Dan, 12
silence, 47, 74
sins of the father, 84
Smolin, David, 64
social networks, 56
Solomon, 56, 84
spectrum of connection, 37
spiritual adoption, 69
equivalence to legal adoption, 72
stand by women facing unplanned pregnancy, 114
stay awake to suffering, 103
Stephen Kinzer, 21
stigma of childlessness, 113
substance abuse, 48
suicidal, 90
suicide, 48
television, 50
Ten Commandments, 52
The Child Catchers, 22, 108
The Parable of the Lost Son, 89
The Primal Wound, 28
toxic phrases, 157
transgenerational trauma, 85
trauma, 23
Trauma, 85, 102, 234, 235
truth, 51
Truth, 52
unadopted, 36
undivided loyalty, 125
ungrateful, 41, 102
unmarried, 141
unmarried mothers, 87
unredacted records, 53
unsolicited advice, 30, 40
unvarnished truth, 151
validate adoptee pain, 144
Validate the Full Spectrum of Adoption Experience, 106
We Deserve the Family of Our Dreams
We Deserve the Family of Our Dreams, 23
What Faith Communities Can Do, 95
what ifs, 49
What would Jesus do?, 91
Whitewashing grief and loss, 103
witness, 77
witnesses, 114
witnesses to suffering, 103
zero-sum g, 124
Ziegler, Ph.D., Dave, 11