Last week, I wrote a blog post for GIFT Family Services (Growing Intentional Families Together) about the important book, “Bullied” . Carrie Goldman, the author of this marvelous book is also an adoptive parent. She writes “Portrait of an Adoption” for “Chicago Now”. Portrait of an Adoption” is a regular feature. During the month of November, Carrie will again be posting 30 Portraits of Adoption. –adoption stories written by thirty guest writers. Each will feature a unique angle on the adoption journey. This is a wonderful project which I highly recommend. (Read last year’s “Thirty Portraits”. Carrie’s blog covers lots of important adoption issues and includes her list of Adoption Books for Kids: A reading List for Children and Teens in Adoptive & Foster Families
While most of the posts on this blog focus on great books for children, I believe that as adoptive parents, we have a huge interest in resolving the epidemic of bullying which has swept our culture. Increasingly, the margins for acceptability have narrowed, the definition of normal has tightened. Being different is perceived not only as unacceptable but also as an invitation to humiliate and ostracize anyone–or any FAMILY–that is different. As adoptive families, we are well aware of the differences that separate us from traditionally formed families. We have experienced the prejudice, the askance looks and the intrusive questions which all broadcast a “lesser than” message and to some extent, we have felt bullied by such narrow thinking. We have a vested interest in expanding tolerance, empathy, kindness and the concept of “acceptability.”
Bullied” is a wonderful book filled with tested strategies for both children and adults. These suggestions are compiled to reflect age-appropriate choices. (What is a good idea for a second-grader to do or say varies greatly from the choices suggested for a middle-schooler or an adult.) An essential part of her thesis: start young. The earlier that we teach (and model) tolerance and empathy, the more effective and easier it is for kids to embrace. Adults have a firm calling, to model respectful behavior and parenting methods, to intervene when appropriate and to advocate for change. We must be the change we want to see. Plant your first seed of change by reading Bullied“.
