I Am Enough: Finding Affirmation and Self-confidence

I am enough!

We all want to believe the truth behind this statement about ourselves. And as adults who care about children, we dream of the day when all children believe this fact about themselves. The reality is, however, that most of us fear we are not enough. Often, we are our own worst critic. We broadcast an inner dialogue of fear and self-doubt which nag at our confidence and weigh us down.

Children are not fully “finished”; they don’t have a lot of data to disprove their worst fears. They are still very much in the process of becoming,  of learning to identify their strengths as well as their challenges. So they experience failure a lot. While adults recognize that failure is the stepping stone to ultimate success, kids tend to believe that success comes like magic. They view failure as unnecessary and suspect it reflects something lacking in themselves. This leaves them especially vulnerable to external messages of negativity, ostracism, and intimidation.

To counter this effect, we must maximize experiences and messages which build up “belief in self” for all children–especially children who are marginalized. Books offer a great tool for opening eyes and creating change, especially books like “I Am Enough” by Grace Byers and illustrated by Keturah A. Bobo. Its simple but powerful text sends a clear message that values diversity. The illustrations depict many races, ethnicities, and ranges of ability. This is important because the ways people get divided into “us” versus “them” is as limitless as the range of human imagination. Those that would sow dissension can always find a way to draw themselves into a circle and leave others out.

Help kids to grow a narrative that disbelieves these cruel messages are not true. Kids benefit from seeing their experiences, their families, and people who look like themselves. They feel included, valued and begin to nurture a belief that they are indeed enough. The importance of their arriving at this conclusion cannot be overstated.

AQ Lens: Kids who were adopted are particularly sensitized to hints that they do not quite measure up. Transracial or international adoptions create extra layers of “difference” even, therefore, easily raise more questions about how to fit in and belong. Both the text and the illustrations can be great jumping off point for discussion. For kids who are reluctant to discuss such challenging issues, try talking from the perspective of imaginary figures. (Some kids feel…) Let’s face it, even for adults sometimes talking about a personal problem as if it belonged to someone else inserts a layer of detachment that helps make it possible to talk about it.

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