Adoption

Learning to Shine

Learning to Shone, adoption, adoptee

Glow Girl by award-winning author Michelle Weidenbenner is the first book in the Droit series. It blends the appeal of a traditional middle-school storyline ( a girl must grapple with the weight and responsibilities of accepting, acknowledging, and using her “gift.”}

Her struggles propel the story. In addition to her own reluctance to identify her “otherness” and publicly declare that she is a Droit, Willow must balance her parents’ reluctance for her to accept her Droit status. They yearn for her to be just like them. However, Willow is an adoptee and her abilities are DNA driven.

Willow learns that it takes tremendous energy to repress her talents. Because her parents do not share  Willow’s “gift”, they cannot provide her with advice on how to grow into it; all they can offer is their fear of the gift and their yearning to keep Willow safe and “normal.” Willow’s fear of rejection by her adoptive parents weighs heavy but so does her need to be her true self and to nurture her talents and use them to benefit others. She hates her “gift” and the “otherness” it causes and simultaneously finds the need to use them irresistible.

Weidenbenner has created a memorable group of characters who engage the reader and give the story substance: the boyfriend, the best friends, parents (temporarily) removed from her life, and an eccentric guardian more than willing to be her “partner in crime.”

The story also tackles the issue of social ostracism and school bullying— what drives it and how kids cope or succumb.

AQ Lens: This is an engaging read whether one is adopted or not. Identity issues are a big deal at this age. It will particularly resonate with adoptees who wrestle with many of the same emotions and concerns as Willow: the burden of “otherness,” the fear of rejection, the desire to “fit in,” the curiosity of one’s biological ancestry and family. Although these issues are not the focus, they provide important threads that propel and shape this well-paced story.

I read the book in one sitting and look forward to reading the next book in the series. — Gayle H. Swift, adoptive family coach, and author, “We’re Adopted, So What” and “ABC, Adoption & Me” and “Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith.”

https://smile.amazon.com/Gayle-H-Swift/e/B00DRQCI9A?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1578680331&sr=1-1

The Healing Power of Friendship

Greenhorn written by Anna Olswanger and illustrated by Miriam Nerlove introduces young readers to a difficult yet important subject: the Holocaust. It is best read with a parent as the story touches on some of the horrific atrocities perpetrated by the Nazis. It depicts the healing power of friendship in the face of unimaginable tragedy.

The story focuses on a handful of boys in a Brooklyn yeshiva in 1946. Daniel, an orphan whose parents were killed by the Nazi’s, comes to reside at the school and room with the boys already crowded into its tiny space. Several of the boys view the new arrival with reluctance. He’s an unknown quantity that they view with distrust and suspicion, a boy with a history and a box— literally. Led by Hershel the biggest boy in the group, they tease Daniel for his lack of English and bully him frequently. Obsessed with the box which Daniel always keeps with him, they bully him constantly trying to force him to reveal its contents.

Aaron, however, tries to take Daniel under his wing. Being a stutterer has helped shape Aaron into a sensitive and compassionate boy. He understands fear, embarrassment and the power of hope; in spite of his stutter, Aaron dreams of becoming a rabbi like his own father. He consistently defends Daniel from the cruelties of the other boys and works to earn Daniel’s trust and friendship. Asserting that friends don’t keep secrets, Aaron tells Daniel of his dream to become a rabbi. a dream that seems impossible for a boy that stutters.

Aaron hopes that his gift of trust will help Daniel to open up to him. Daniel keeps the secret of his box to himself. Until one day the box falls and the contents spill out. To Aaron, the hidden treasure appears to be a rock. Eventually, readers learn a heartbreaking fact. The box holds a hunk of soap which the Nazi’s created from human fat. Daniel treasures it because he believes that it possibly is made from his parents. It is his way of keeping his dead parents close.

Aaron proves himself a good friend and Daniel eventually comes to live with Aaron’s family. The story is loosely based on the life of Rabbi Rafael Grossman. It provides a great way to discuss how hate, cruelty, bias, and bullying shape our lives and beliefs. It also reveals the power of being an “I-stand-er” like Aaron instead of a bystander who remains silent in the face of bullying.

A copy of this book was gifted to me for the purpose of providing an unbiased review for the Multicultural Children’s Book Day 2020 event (1/31/20). Greenhorn was published by New South Books.

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https://smile.amazon.com/Gayle-H-Swift/e/B00DRQCI9A?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1578680331&sr=1-1
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Help Kids Find, Share Inner Strength

Emotions reflect the gamut of human experience. They include a spectrum from frigid despair, to scalding anger, immobilizing fear, to unbridled joy. Every emotion has value, serves a purpose, and bears expressing. Sometimes emotions can disrupt or overwhelm. Regulating emotions takes skill even for adults. Children benefit from learning how to express and manage emotions in a safe and healthy way, how to name them, how to talk about them, and how to express them. This ability is an important element of Emotional Intelligence.

2020 Teacher’s Choice Awards Winner You Are Your Strong by Danielle Dufayet offers an engaging an important book that models emotional regulation skills. Gorgeous, multicultural illustrations breathe the story to life. Dufayet’s spare, rhythmic text explains that sometimes kids can turn to others for support and encouragement. Other times, they can dig deep within themselves and discover their own inner strengths and abilities. Sometimes, kids can be a resource for others! There’s no “right” way; there are many ways and each serves its purpose.

This book lends itself to discussing not only how kids can handle their own emotions but also how they can notice the ways other people handle theirs. Conversations can explore when it is safe to try to handle things alone and when kids should turn to an adult for assistance.

For children confronting divorce or any of life’s big issues, this book offers a way to talk about big feelings and to reassure children their feelings are normal, manageable, and okay. Books like this encourage conversations about feelings and help kids manage them by providing then a vocabulary and the support they need to understand and manage their emotions. This is the way we nurture their Emotional Intelligence skills which is an important life skill tool.

Adoption-AttunementAdoption-Attunement Lens– Even if they are not involved in an open adoption, all adopted children have both a birth family and an adopted family. Research reveals that adopted children think about and fantasize about their birth parents. They wrestle with questions about what specifically caused them to be placed for adoption. Unsurprisingly, adoptees have strong, complicated emotions about this reality. Reading this book with a parent can logically segue into discussions about these feelings. Such conversations provide children with essential support and can help clear up any misconceptions that blame themselves for their adoption.

https://smile.amazon.com/Gayle-H-Swift/e/B00DRQCI9A?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1573838569&sr=1-1

All of these books are available on Amazon and in local bookstores.

A Release Valve for the Pressure Cooker of Emotions

release-valve-for-the-pressure-cooker-of-emotions

Helping children strengthen and expand their emotional regulation skills is an important parental responsibility. It can also be tricky and awkward. Chandra Ghosh Ippen’s newest book, Holdin Pott again steps into the fray to serve up an important message: Don’t bottle up all those messy and uncomfortable feelings. Emotions kept wrapped too tightly eventually lead to explosions— messy ones, that create a lot of fallout for parent and child.

Holdin Pott explains that stifled emotions make “the body ache and the belly sicken.” Illustrator Erich Ippen Jr. captures the spirit of this message in a two-page spread that depicts the aftermath of a pressure cooker that has detonated. (Anyone who has faced this experience knows just how messy, loud and frightening it can be!)

The next line of text reads, “Then Little Pott felt ashamed and afraid he’d be in big trouble for the mess that he made.” Shame. Fear, Isolation— these complicated emotions make the child feel even worse. They weaken the child’s ability to process and cope with his challenges. Handling the hard stuff of life is hard enough for adults; for children with few the skills and limited experience, managing on their own is much more difficult. This is why they need to be able to turn to parents for guidance, understanding, and acceptance. To feel safe. Loved. Accepted.

Lucky is the child whose parents recognize this need and intentionally look for ways to create this secure attunement with their child and to grow their child’s emotional regulation skills. In fact, developing this competency benefits the entire family. Ippen’s book offers one great way to accomplish this goal.

I highly recommend her other, exceptional book, You weren’t with Me.  I have gifted it to both children and adults and folks raved about how it helped them. Read my review of it.

AQ Lens: Adoption includes many intense emotions so a book like this which models that it is safe to express and share emotions makes a good addition to the adoptive family’s bookshelf. Adult adoptees report that they frequently wrestled with big, scary and unsettling emotions like anger and fear of rejections. They yearned for ways to share their fears with parents but often failed in their efforts and instead kept these overwhelming emotions bottled up.

A book like Holdin Pott can serve as a gateway to free expression, loving connection, and emotional competency.

Gayle H. Swift, co-founder of GIFT Family Services, author of: ABC, Adoption & Me; We’re Adopted, So What?; Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith

available here
 

Every Voice Counts

Every-Voice-Counts

The books reviewed on this blog voice and reflect some of my core values. An emphasis on kindness forms a recurring thread as does inclusivity and empathy. Peter H. Reynolds, an author featured several times has created another gem, Say Something. It invites readers to contribute their unique voices and talents to the world.

When they choose to stay hidden or silent, they silence their voices, waste their talents, and abdicate their opportunity to make a contribution. They miss their chance to make the world a better place.

Reynolds tells readers “The world needs your voice.” He reassures them that “it doesn’t need to be perfect… [or] loud.” They can speak in many ways: “with words, with action, with creativity.” Their voices can be as varied as their individuality. Every voice counts!

In simple, brief text Reynolds explains the power of an individual with focus, passion, and a dream. He shows them they each have value and their dreams matter. He asks them to engage actively in life, to channel their determination creativity, and persistence to bring their dreams into existence. They must engage with vigor, joy, and inclusion. Take part in life and enjoy the ride.

Say Something illustrates how life is fundamentally a “team” sport that requires partnering with others. This expands the dream as well as the likelihood of success. Kids must learn to advocate for themselves, to engage and collaborate, and most importantly, to see others not as stepping stones but as partners. No success is worth crushing others to achieve it. In fact, one’s greatest joy can be found in bringing others along, in creating a tide that lifts all. Similarly, each of us shares an obligation to speak out and stand up for our values. Not only adults. Kids must also choose to intervene when others are being marginalized, bullied, or ignored.

AQ Lens Adoptees often bring an infusion of talents and interests which vary wildly from their adoptive families. Say Something helps them value their differences and see them as the blessing they truly are This book celebrates the joy and wonder of our “uniquenesses” and affirms both their value and the importance of bringing them to life and putting them to good use.

Listen to our–GIFT Family Services’ podcasts on Adoption-attuned Parenting.

Trading the Monochrome for a Spectrum of Color

Humans, like all animals, experience a level of comfort and security when they feel included in a group that reflects who they are, how they behave and what beliefs they share. While such tribalism can engender a certain level of security, all this sameness can eventually feel monotonous, boring and constraining. Using the metaphor of color, author-illustrator Arree Chung offers a convincing example of the benefits of mixing things up. Best known for his very successful Ninja series of books, his latest book,  Mixed: A Colorful Story fights against small-minded tribalism.

It showcases the power that an individual can wield to lead their tribe. One outspoken color rallies the rest of “his kind” by convincing them that they are better than the other colors. They shouldn’t spend time together. They certainly should not live in the same communities with those lowly “others.” The other color groups follow his lead. Each group decides to live in a separate part of the city where only their color is allowed to reside. They feel secure and content spending time only with their  “own kind.” Until …

A yellow happens to share a bench with a blue. They pause for a moment and choose not to fight, insult or ignore one another. Each sets aside their tribal expectations and make their own determination. Exemplifying a different leadership direction they pause long enough to notice the impact the other color has on them. Yellow feels blue’s gentle sense of calm while blue senses that yellow lifts his spirits. At first, their respective color communities are dismayed and offended by this unexpected mixing.

Love triumphs, however, and blue and yellow decide to marry. Soon they produce a lovely baby who blends the best of both of them. They name him “Green.” Soon more and more colors decide to explore friendships with members of other color families. Eventually, many mixed relationships occur and a panoply of lovely colors emerges. Each contributes a unique characteristic and creates a hubbub of diversity.

While the story may seem quite obvious, perhaps even heavy-handed to adults, the illustrations and sparse text vitalize the story in an engaging and persuasive way. Children will draw a message of inclusion and respect for including others regardless of the way in which they might differ from one another. In the end, like a box of crayons that includes the entire rainbow, a richer tapestry emerges.

trading-the-monochrome-for-a-spectrum-of-color-adoption-attunementAQ Lens: The inclusionary message of this story will connect with adoptees who lead lives based on the reality that adoption grafts them from one family into another. On some level, they will always reflect the characteristics of their DNA and they will also reflect the nurturing influence of their adoptive family. They become an embodiment of blending both. Their adoptive family will be enriched by the addition of their presence. The storyline offers an opportunity to talk about the emotions the various characters expressed–both the pleasure of being included plus the pain of feeling “othered” and the very real impact that tribal preferences impose. If the child seems open, parents can turn the discussion to the similarities in their child’s life.

https://wp.me/p4vGHg-SJ

What Is #DiverseKidLit?

Diverse Children’s Books is a book-sharing meme designed to promote the reading and writing of children’s books that feature diverse characters. This community embraces all kinds of diversity including (and certainly not limited to) diverse, inclusive, multicultural, and global books for children of all backgrounds. We encourage everyone who shares to support this blogging community by visiting and leaving comments for at least three others. Please also consider following the hosts on at least one of their social media outlets. Spread the word using #diversekidlit and/or adding our button to your site and your diverse posts.

DiverseKidLit

 

 

We hope this community serves as a resource for parents, teachers, librarians, publishers, and authors!

#DiverseKidLit is Hosted by:

Gayle Swift, Author of ABC, Adoption & Me Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Google+
Gauri @ Kitaab World an online bookstore for South Asian children’s books, toys and games
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Mia @ Pragmatic Mom Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Pinterest /

Want to be notified when the next #diversekidlit linkup goes live? Click here to join the mailing list. Interested in joining as a host or an occasional co-host? Contact Katie at thelogonauts.com.

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Families Come in Different Shapes and Sizes

families-come-in-different-shapes-and-sizes-great-big=book-of-families

Mary Hoffman, author of the highly acclaimed Amazing Grace picture book series, has written a powerful book about families: The Great Big Book of Families. This book is big both in physical size and in scope. It depicts a comprehensive range of diversity: how they look, who they can include, where they live, how they connect with one another, and the challenges they face together. She gently makes the point that regardless of their individual challenges or differences, families are valuable and important to each other.

Originally published in 2011, it ranks number 14 on Amazon. I assert that this proves that readers are hungry for books that respect and include diversity.

The Great Big Book of Families fills a need for children to see their life experiences reflected in the books they read. Kids need this affirmation. Equally important, it opens a window onto the life experiences of others whose family appearances or circumstances may differ from the child’s personal experiences. [bctt tweet=”As children gain a broader view of the world, their empathy, tolerance. and sense of exclusion expands. #ValueDiversity #GlobalCitizens #EmpathyKindnessTolerance” username=”GayleHSwift”]. The benefit of this inclusiveness is significant.

Ros Asquith’s lively illustrations respectfully depict an inclusive range of differences in looks, circumstances, or challenges. While some of the differences are the ones which easily and quickly come to mind, others are more unusual, especially in a picture book. The text mentions a variety of homes in which people live and even mentions that some people struggle to find homes and some are homeless. This is done without judgment or finger-pointing. Similarly, it talks about jobs: “In some families, everyone has a job. In others, only one person goes to work. Some parents work from home. And some can’t get a job at all.”

These are the kind of realities that kids actually face. This book offers the chance for children to further explore these hard truths with the adults in their lives. Some other topics mentioned include holidays, foods, clothes, pets, transportation, feelings, and family trees.

The Great Big Book of Families serves up an important chance to open children’s eyes. [bctt tweet=”Our experience of life does not define the standard for what is “right” or “better” or the only way that is acceptable or good. #TeachToleranceSeekJustice” username=”GayleHSwift”]. This book would make a great addition to the family, classroom or school, or public library as a way to teach tolerance and acceptance.

adoption-attunement-lens-AQ-lens-families-come-in-different-shapes-and-sizesAQ Lens: As mentioned in many previous book reviews, adoptees routinely experience feelings of being different from children who remain with their biological families. It’s a topic with which they wrestle throughout their lifetimes. Reading a book like this helps them to see that other children and families also experience some sense of otherness. The Great Big Book of Families can trigger conversations about differences and may open the door to discussions about a child’s deep feelings about family, adoption, and acceptance.  (Remember, however, never dismiss the loss of one’s first family as trivial or insignificant.)
Welcome to #DiverseKidLit ! Please join us in sharing your diverse children’s book links and resources, as well as visiting other links to find great suggestions and recommendations.

What Is #DiverseKidLit?

Diverse Children’s Books is a book-sharing meme designed to promote the reading and writing of children’s books that feature diverse characters. This community embraces all kinds of diversity including (and certainly not limited to) diverse, inclusive, multicultural, and global books for children of all backgrounds. We encourage everyone who shares to support this blogging community by visiting and leaving comments for at least three others. Please also consider following the hosts on at least one of their social media outlets. Spread the word using #diversekidlit and/or adding our button to your site and your diverse posts.

DiverseKidLit

 

 

We hope this community serves as a resource for parents, teachers, librarians, publishers, and authors!

#DiverseKidLit is Hosted by:

Gayle Swift, Author of ABC, Adoption & Me Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Google+
Gauri @ Kitaab World an online bookstore for South Asian children’s books, toys and games
Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Pinterest / Instagram
Mia @ Pragmatic Mom Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Pinterest /

Want to be notified when the next #diversekidlit linkup goes live? Click here to join the mailing list. Interested in joining as a host or an occasional co-host? Contact Katie at thelogonauts.com.

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Empathy Is an Inside Job

empathy-is-an-inside-job-I-Am-Human

November … thoughts of Thanksgiving, family and festive gatherings come to mind. I can think of no better way to mark this important time than by focusing on having empathy and being kind, inclusive and responsible for our own choices. In her book I Am Human, Susan Verde reminds readers that it is important to be kind, not only to others but also to oneself. I appreciate this focus. I believe it helps kids to accept themselves, to recognize that they are always in the process of learning, trying, failing and trying again. No one starts out as an expert; increased competency and skills result from trial and error. And practice!

Having the courage to try and then to keep trying even in the face of difficulty,  is essential. When we hold empathy toward ourselves, it helps open the door to having empathy toward others. Once children recognize that they need not hold themselves to standards of perfection, it is a logical step to hold this same understanding toward others. They begin to see that all people are faced with the same life journey of learning through practice. All of us want encouragement from self and others, not ridicule, kindness not criticism. We need empathy and tolerance in our world now more than ever.

Peter Reynolds masterful illustrations make the perfect context for this upbeat book about our essential humanity. It highlights both our commonality and our diversity

AQ Lens: Adopted children frequently wrestle with feelings of insecurity and fear of rejection which frequently expresses itself as perfectionism. It is commonly thought that kids unconsciously choose this strategy as a way to ensure their adoptive families won’t have a reason to reject them as their birth families did. (As adults, we know that adoption is not “caused” by a child; it results from very complicated and serious issues that are no fault of the child.)

This book helps to open conversations about kindness–especially kindness towards self– and can lead to important sharing of intimate vulnerabilities with which a child wrestles. Focus first on how “some children” might feel or think. Be open to sharing some of your own fears and how you nurture empathy for self and others. Ask open questions like, “I wonder if you think about …? Or, “I wonder if you worry…” Or, “I wonder if you are angry with yourself, or your birth mother or …”

Do not press the point. Focus instead on creating a security within their hearts and minds that you are willing and able to hear whatever your child thinks and feels about himself, adoption, family, community, etc.

 

I have reviewed I Choose by Suzin Helen Carr previously. This little gem is an award-winning indie-published book yet many may not have heard of it. Written by Suzin Helen Carr and illustrated by her then seven-year-old son, the book visits various moments when a child–or adult–is called upon to make a choice. For example, what to wear, how to feel, what to see, do, eat or play. The darling illustrations bring the ideas to life in a way that will appeal to kids. I think it will increase their ability to notice and appreciate the many “choosing” opportunities that occur in their day.

The message of “I Choose,” will certainly resonate with adults who share the book with their child. Suzin has also written a version of “I Choose too” an adult version of this illuminating book. Readers can breeze through this short gem of a book very quickly. Better yet, pause and explore each page. This book can trigger many possible and significant conversations with your child. You just might be surprised by what you discover about one another.

It is essential to teach children–and to remind ourselves–that we have the power to choose and that we are responsible for the choices we make. Accountability and integrity are as important as empathy. All are essential for a society to function successfully.

Welcome to #DiverseKidLit ! Please join us in sharing your diverse children’s book links and resources, as well as visiting other links to find great suggestions and recommendations.

What Is #DiverseKidLit?

Diverse Children’s Books is a book-sharing meme designed to promote the reading and writing of children’s books that feature diverse characters. This community embraces all kinds of diversity including (and certainly not limited to) diverse, inclusive, multicultural, and global books for children of all backgrounds.

 

We encourage everyone who shares to support this blogging community by visiting and leaving comments for at least three others. Please also consider following the hosts on at least one of their social media outlets. Spread the word using #diversekidlit and/or adding our button to your site and your diverse posts.

DiverseKidLit

 

 

We hope this community serves as a resource for parents, teachers, librarians, publishers, and authors! Our next linkup will be Saturday, December 1st and the first Saturday of each month.

#DiverseKidLit is Hosted by:

Gayle Swift, Author of ABC, Adoption & Me Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Google+
Gauri @ Kitaab World an online bookstore for South Asian children’s books, toys and games
Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Pinterest / Instagram
Mia @ Pragmatic Mom Blog / Twitter / Facebook / Pinterest /

Want to be notified when the next #diversekidlit linkup goes live? Click here to join the mailing list. Interested in joining as a host or an occasional co-host? Contact Katie at thelogonauts.com.

(Never participated in a linkup before? Please click here for a more detailed step-by-step.)

Get #DiverseKidLit Recommendations on Pinterest!

Our Pinterest board highlights a wide range of amazing posts and resources for Diverse Children’s Books. Please consider following the board for even more great books!

Share Your Link 


 

How Kindness Looks, Sounds and Feels

how-kindness-looks-sounds-and-feelsDiscussions about kindness appear frequently as we strive to understand how to handle the challenges and social turmoil of our current times. Although we frequently admonish children to be kind we’ve done little to educate them on how kindness might look and sound, and feel. These are important parts of the relationship equation which children need to learn.

Be Kind by Pat Zietlow Miller offers a tender perspective on the subject. Jen Hill’s dreamy watercolor illustrations beautifully render the emotions reflected in the characters’ faces. Miller uses a universal experience of doing something embarrassing in full view of others: Tanisha spill grape juice all over herself. Because of the nature of grape juice, her spill is not simply a moment of embarrassment; it is a day-long exercise in humiliation.

Tanisha feels mortified and when her classmates laugh and jeer at her, she feels even worse. The entire class joins in derisive laughter with the exception of one soul who struggles to comfort Tanisha. Her bravery models one important response to bullying: be an ally instead of a bystander or co-conspirator. When her awkward efforts to comfort Tanisha backfire, she wonders what else she could have done to help Tanisha. Illustrations of her musings introduce readers to a menu of ways they might try in similar circumstances. They reflect a range of choices, settings and diverse characters; recycling, calling people by name, befriending the new student, listening, etc. Some of these actions focus on empathy, an essential ingredient of awareness that helps combat bullying.

She acknowledges that being kind and sticking up for others is hard and scary! She also notes that even if her actions do not “fix” the situation, it is still important to try. And try again. “Maybe I can only do small things. But my small things might join small things other people do. And, together, they could grow into something big.” The story demonstrates that change starts small, in one-to-one actions and they can gather momentum to create a bigger change.

In this story the girl’s efforts to cheer Tanisha spotlight a courageous act of kindness yet it realistically shows that sometimes it doesn’t quite set things right. This is another important lesson.

Tanisha is a person of color and it is refreshing to see the character in an ordinary, universal moment that has nothing to do with racial bias. She’s simply a kid just like other kids.

AQ Lens Adoptees frequently wrestle with intrusive personal questions, insults and prejudices about their being adopted, for example, Why didn’t your mother want you? How much did your parents pay for you? Where is your real mom? Most of them have direct experience with the kind of humiliating “othering” experience depicted in the book so they will easily identify with Tanisha. They know how it feels to yearn for kindness and empathy.

https://wp.me/p4vGHg-S5

    

Things Aren’t Always How They SEEM to Look

%%things-arent-always-how-they-seem-to-look-be-ture-to-yourself%%Red written and illustrated by Michael Hall shares a simple yet profound message that riffs on the old adages “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” and “Be true to yourself.” It accomplishes this through bold illustrations and humorous, simple text. They are equal partners and together they pack a brilliant creative wallop.

The opening illustration, for example, depicts a solitary crayon against a black background. One crayon. Three words: “He was red.” Even the youngest reader will immediately notice something doesn’t quite compute. Although the wrapper is red, the crayon itself is actually blue. Throughout the book characters expect the crayon to reflect his outward—red—appearance. His performance consistently fails their expectations.

No matter how hard he tries, when he colors anything, he produces blue, not red. The other crayons accuse him of not trying hard enough, not mixing well with others. They try many methods to remold him into a version of himself that fits their expectations.  He’s viewed as lazy, slow, damaged and not very bright—all because Red can only produce a reflection of who he really is on the inside, which is blue through and through. Poor Red begins to feel inadequate and sad. He wonders if he will ever fit in, make the grade, and behave properly.

Until…

One crayon sees beyond Red’s label and notices who Red really is. He persuades Red to draw the ocean. Red succeeds beautifully. And he doesn’t stop there. Once red discovers the joy of being himself, he sets out to be fully blue. For the first time, Red experiences joy and acceptance from the world around him. Instead of criticizing him, they praise and accept him.

Once they made space for Red to be his true self, they all benefitted. All it took was one crayon’s validation. One crayon recognized the Red’s truth. That tore apart the box into which Red had been locked. Once freed to be true to himself, Red began “reaching for the sky.”

Without preaching or moralizing, this book makes its point: be true to yourself. It’s a fun and enlightening story that will touch all readers whatever their age. Even adults will benefit from its example.  Red’s story doesn’t exemplify any specific difference, i.e., it’s not necessarily about race, ability levels, gender, etc. This means it can serve as a window to any child’s circumstance of being different. In reading reviews on Amazon, I saw many that castigated this book as being about gender confusion issues. While it could be interpreted that way, no explicit messaging is made along those lines.

AQ Lens  Adoptees are influenced not only by the influences of nurture, but also the significant influence of nature—DNA— as well. An obvious parallel can be drawn with Red’s mismatch between his outside and inside. The story lends itself to discussing the struggles that anyone faces as they strive to determine their authentic selves. Conversations can flow into more serious discussions of the ways in which a child feels he doesn’t fit.