“Those Shoes,” a Book Review: When A Shoe Is So Much More Than Just A Shoe

Black-high tops with two white stripes—imagine them being the heart’s desire for a little boy. He wants them more than anything else in the world. All the other kids in his class have the extravagant shoes. The power of peer pressure; Jeremy dreams of getting his own pair and of being cool.

In her picture book, Those Shoes, Maribeth Boelts captures the intensity of a child’s yearning for the latest clothing fad. He’s caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. His grandma doesn’t have the money for fancy shoes, only for the necessities. This hard fact does little to quell the boy’s desire to join the crowd and strut in his own pair of high-tops. Instead, the Guidance Counselor notices that Jeremy needs new shoes. Unfortunately, the only pair Mr. Alfrey has available conjures laughter from his classmates not admiration. One child—Antonia— doesn’t join in the teasing.

Grandma and Jeremy search the thrift stores for a hand-me-down pair of high-tops. After several failed attempts, luck finally runs Jeremy’s way. They discover a pair. Jeremy crams his feet into the shoes and ignores the pain. He pretends the “too-small shoes” fit his “too-big feet.”

Jeremy has a big heart to match his big feet. He notices Antonio also needs new shoes. Jeremy also sees that his two-small high-tops would be a perfect fit for Antonio’s much smaller feet. His urge to be generous plays tug of war with his love for “Those Shoes.” Finally, Jeremy decides to give them to the to the boy.

What I liked about this story

1. It respected the intensity and genuineness of Jeremy’s feelings. The reader is drawn into Jeremy’s longing, his humiliation when the other kids laugh at him, his elation when he finds the coveted shoes, his desperation to make the “too-small shoes” fit his “too-big feet,” his conflicts and his resolution.

2. The story highlighted the blessing of having one friend who will stand with you against the crowd.

3. The story depicts multi-cultural drawings in a way that is natural. This book is not about race but it is diverse. A wide range of readers will recognize themselves in this book.

4. It shows the power one child can have to make a difference and it does it in a way that feels real, not preachy or overdone.

Feelings: Naming, Sharing, and Recognizing Emotions

As parents, we focus lots of time and energy towards helping our children grow physically and academically. We want our kids to be well and to do well. Emotional literacy is another important life skill that needs to be taught.

While this is not a common word floating around in our minds, it is a priority that benefits from intentional effort. All children must learn how to manage their emotions. The first step in managing feelings is to accurately identify them. This is more complicated than one might think.

Kids often mislabel their feelings. Frequently they express their fear or embarrassment as anger. When asked why they are so angry, often they are unable to answer. They may truly not know. By helping them learn to distinguish one emotion from another, we assist them in finding a way to respond appropriately to the need generated by the emotion in the first place.

Kids are challenged not only by mislabeling their emotions but also by an inability to read the body language cues of others. Whether it is an adult’s raised eyebrow or another child’s hands on hips, often times kids are completely clueless to the silent message such body postures convey. So, what is a parent to do?

Reading an engaging book together is often a great place to start. For kids 2-6, consider the fun book “Glad Monster, Sad Monster” by Ed Emberley and Ann Miranda. Part story, part toy, it is a book unlike any other I’ve come across. Told in clipped phrases, each page folds out to reveal a wonderful mask that embodies the feeling being described. Children can “practice” the emotions. (What kid doesn’t love hamming it up?) As they demonstrate the feeling, kids can tell parents about the things that trigger emotions in themselves. Emberley’s vivid, signature illustrations match the intensity of a child’s big emotions.

Five to nine-year-olds will enjoy “Feelings to Share from A to Z,” written by Todd and Peggy Snow, illustrated by Carrie Hartman. This is another winning approach to an important skill set. The illustrations are hysterical—and multicultural. There’s an alphabet’s worth of emotional range here. This book also leads to easy conversation that accomplishes important teaching moments.

Remember, kids learn best when they are engaged and having fun. Follow reading with a game. Here are some examples. Make faces and have children guess the feelings they express. Take pictures and turn them into cards that you can use to create a matching game. Use puppet play to further explore feelings.

When kids feel connected, heard, and able to share their feelings their ability to self-regulate improves. This emotional literacy helps strengthen attachments and improve recognition of attachment styles. They are also more inclined to care about learning family values and guidelines. We all benefit from healthy attachments, especially in the context of adoptive families.

Sharing Wishes Opens a Window to a Child’s Heart

Some people collect stamps, some people collect coins. I collect books. I believe in books. I turn to them for entertainment, for information, for comfort and for community. As an author, I view books as my channel for touching reader’s hearts and lives. As an adoptive parent and adoption coach, I search for books that enrich and nurture adoptive families.

Recently I learned of a picture book gem—Wish: Wishing Traditions around the World by Roseanne Thong, illustrated by Elisa Kleven. While this lovely book has no direct adoption themes, it is still a delightful resource for adoptive families. The multimedia illustrations are a treasure. Rich in detail, children will pore over them with pleasure not only for their intricate beauty, but also to find the hidden treasures that Kleven has incorporated into the illustrations.

The theme of the book—wishing—resonates with readers, adults, and children alike. The international flavor that infuses the books is an added bonus. Roseann Thong has selected a fascinating array of unique traditions from around the globe. These easily lend themselves to enrichment experiences based on the tradition described in the home or classroom. Some of the wishing traditions offer an irresistible urge to perform. Talk about the various things children around the world wish for. Ask children to imagine what it would be like to yearn for that wish. Ask them to consider being that child and discuss the feelings and ideas that the wish evokes. This is a great way to raise awareness of the differences between American standards of living and that of other countries and to assist them in developing empathy.

I love books that have layers of experience for young readers. Wish is certainly one of these books. It will expand a child’s view of the world. And, as adults ask children to share their personal wishes, a wonderful window opens—the child reveals the secret yearnings of their hearts’ dreams. Wish offers an opportunity for some intimate and honest sharing—the kind of connection all families–especially adoptive families–want to nurture and cherish. The exquisitely detailed multi-media illustrations are a wonderful metaphor for the complexities of a family; each element contributes to the beauty of the whole. Wish is a quality addition to a family’s multicultural library and will contribute to a child’s ability to see himself as a global citizen, a member of an increasingly interconnected and interdependent and diverse world.

Harmonizing the Notes of Diversity

Books offer an excellent way to connect, to create community, to promote healing and to educate. As an adoptive parent and an adoption coach, I especially appreciate books that help to improve the lives of adoptive families.

+Alex Baugh recently reviewed Benny Goodman & Teddy Wilson: Taking the Stage as the First Black and White Jazz Band in History by Lesa Cline-Ransome, illustrated by James E. Ransome. (Follow the link to read her entire review.) This story shows how they worked to make beautiful music together–literally and metaphorically.

Music is a language that touches us deeply and communicates beyond words, cultures and prejudices. But music was (is) a product of the society from which it grows and even it suffered the constraints of segregation. Until–until these gifted musicians realized they wanted–needed–to play together.

For all of us, music is a powerful force that not only entertains, but also transforms. It helps us to become global citizens that appreciate the glory of diversity and appreciates that we are enriched by our differences not diminished by them. As adoptive families, we have a particular interest in expanding the acceptance of diverse family groups. As we embrace diversity, as we live diversity, we prove that it is not how similar a family looks that bonds them together. It is how they love, respect, and accept one another. Blaze a path and be a shining star for tolerance, diversity and compassion.

What books have you found shrink the globe and that brings us together as members of the Family of Man? Please share your favorite titles, so we all can enjoy them!

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