The Power of One …

So often, kids (and adults) think, “I’m only one person. What difference can I make?” The power of one is deceptive. One quiet voice, one brave stance, one impassioned believer can shift the moment, the life, the course of history. Perhaps the situation is reversed for them and they are the child who needs that one friend, that dependable adult, that supportive teacher.

How can we as parents/teachers/adults encourage this belief in the individual’s power to take a stand and help grow children willing to be “The Difference.” make a difference?

One tool resides in the brilliant book, “One” by Katherine Otoshi. In fewer than 500 words, Otoshi captures her powerful message: “It just takes one to make everyone count.”

I enjoy the play on words. In addition to the obvious meaning, that a person can “count” (be a meaningful influence,) this book also operates as a simple counting exercise. When the colors join together, one plus one becomes two, etc. The reader feels the effect of teamwork, the isolation and loneliness of facing a larger, scarier individual.

Otoshi’s bright, spare illustrations enhance her message in a succinct and easy to absorb package. This book is the perfect anti-bullying book for young children. (In fact, anyone who reads “One” will resonate with its important theme.”

“One” has received many awards (all of them merited!):

E.B.White Read Aloud Honor Book
Teacher’s Choice Award
Young Voices Foundation Award
Moonbeam Children’s Book Medalist
Mo’s Choice Award
Nautilus Gold Winner
IPPY Book Award
Hicklembee’s Book of the Year\NCIBA Best Illustrated Award
Reader Views Best Children’s Book
Flicker Tale Award

AQ* Spin:Many adopted children experience a sense of being different, of feeling like the odd one out. (Author, adopted mom, Carrie M. Goldman calls this as feeling “othered,” a complex emotion that parents need to acknowledge and assist kids in processing. Parents enjoy highlighting the similarities between themselves and their adopted children.

It is equally important that parents acknowledge the ways in which our children are different from us as well. Work to help them see their differences as enriching the family. Do encourage them to express any feelings of “otherness” without trying to minimize these feelings. Their honesty leaves them vulnerable and it invites you in to their real perception of their life experiences. By listening to all of their children’s emotions about adoption, parents become a safe harbor when they can find safety and security.

“One” offers an easy segue into conversations about their being adopted and how their friends and classmates respond to that knowledge. This is another area where parents will want to be available to hear their child’s whole story–“the good, the bad and the ugly.” Avoid the temptation to minimize; this will invalidate their expereinces and feelings. That’s not the message you want to share. We don’t want to push them into expressing only the happy thoughts and feelings about being adopted. .

I rate “One” a

A Nest Is Noisy … Like A Family

Families come in such diverse variety. As adoptive families we search for opportunities to highlight this range of difference in a way that equates with “interesting” instead of odd or abnormal. Diana Hutts Aston’s fascinating book, A Nest Is Noisy delves into the natural world to depict some of the many wonderful ways that animals prepare to house and protect their young. Illustrated with exquisite detail by Sylvia Long, the book is a feast for the eyes as well as a smorgasbord of interesting information.

The illustrations add depth and interest. Children can spend a great deal of time studying them for hidden details. They’ll enjoy a game of “I Spy” if they are challenged to look for tiny details. Readers will see the many commonalities as well as differences in how various animals prepare for parenthood. After reading the book, challenge your child to look for nests in his neighborhood.

Readers learn about nests: the biggest and smallest, nests built in trees and on the ground, constructed underground and created underwater. It features birds, fish, and snakes, bees, frogs and alligators, turtles, ants and platypuses. Kids will find a favorite among the crowd. They’ll enjoy learning about all the different ways animal parents prepare for the arrival of their offspring.

The AQ* Lens: A Nest Is Noisy even features two varieties of birds that lay their eggs in a nest and then allow others to nurture and raise them. This offers a chance to segue into a discussion of how some animal parents are not able to nurture and raise their babies. Instead, these birds carefully choose a nest where their little ones will receive the care they need and deserve. The book identifies one nest as “adopted.”

Tread lightly, if you choose to connect this thread to human parents making an adoption plan. (It is an easy tack to take.) Just remember to speak with respect and empathy for birthparents. Highlight the care with which they identified a new “nest” for their child. Explain that adult reasons and adult shortcomings necessitated an adoption. Make it clear that it was not the baby’s fault or due to any shortcomings on the child’s part. Ask your child what he thinks the animal might be feeling. (This may give you some insight to his own feelings about adoption loss.) Come from curiosity so that you allow them to express genuine feelings and not deliver what they think you want to hear.

A Nest Is Noisy is a beautiful book, chock full of information.I rate it as

When the Family Tree includes Unexpected Fruit

Children love banging out music. From their first toddler foray wielding spoon against a pot or a pan, they respond with joy, enthusiasm and persistence. But for some kids music offers much more than an outlet. It is who they are and how they connect to their deepest feelings and express themselves. Melba Liston was one such child. She connected with her talent at a very young age. Little Melba and her Big Trombone by Katheryn Russell-Brown illustrated by Frank Morrison is based on her life.

Born in 1926 in an environment filled with jazz, blues, and gospel, music dominates her life. Eventually it brings her all over the world. Music also presses Melba to face the realities of prejudice and racial separation that dominated that part of history. Melba’s story inspires and glows with the power of following one’s passion, the thrill of fulfilling one’s dreams. She overcame great difficulty not only in terms of personal challenges but also in terms of the racial realities of that era. This serves as a model for the power of vision, commitment and determination. Her success was not magical nor without challenges. It occurred as a result of hard work.

Morrison’s award-winning** illustrations brilliantly further the story. The effort and energy Melba expended come alive in the pictures. Dwarfed by her trombone, seven-year-old Melba struggled to master it, to release the music that lay dormant in the instrument. Her family encourages her to dare to be the best musician she can become, to take risks, and to ignore those who would try to hold her back. Melba blazed a trail for female musicians. “She was one of the first women, of any race, to become a world-class trombone player.” The story clearly portrays the immense power of an innate talent and how compelled a child feels to develop her abilities.

The AQ* (Adoption-attunement Quotient) potential in this story is easy to capture. This story celebrates a child’s innate talents and it highlights how her family encouraged and helped develop her gift. As adoptive parents we have the same opportunity– a duty really– to look for the hidden talents that lie within our children–the gifts of their genetic heritage. Some families may find this effortless to accomplish. Perhaps their child’s talents meld right in with the generational patterns of the family, for example, when an athletically-gifted child is adopted into a sport-loving family.) Or, the opposite might be true a bookish, creative child more at ease with a journal, drawing pencil or paintbrush joins the same family. This mismatch can be a source or tension or it can be an opportunity to broaden the family’s identity, to embrace this new “flavor” to notice and appreciate it. Whether it is a stretch or a no-brainer match, a child’s talents are a blessing, a light to be fostered and nurtured. One of the greatest gifts we can give a child is to validate them–their thoughts, feelings, talents and their differences. When our children were grafted to our family trees, we all became permanently linked, permanently changed.

In Florida, where Casey and I live, nurseries frequently graft varieties of trees. One popular creation is called a “cocktail tree*.” Farmers choose a sturdy, vibrant citrus tree and then graft branches of limes, oranges and lemons. When the mature tree blooms and fruits, it produces not only the fruit of the parent plant. Each branch remains true to its DNA: the orange branch produces oranges; the lime branch yields limes and the lemon branch bears lemons. Nurtured by the strength of the root stalk, each of the grafts reaches maturity as a healthy expression of its potential. I would assert that this is what we wish for our children: that they become the best version of themselves instead of a hollow imitation of an idealized set of expectations.

*In other parts of the country a similar process produces fruit salad trees that include apple varieties or other fruit combinations.)

** (He won the Coretta Scott King Honor Award for 2105.)

Wanting to Be Different

Children often complain that they don’t want to be: skinny or fat; tall or short; blonde or brunette; curly-haired or straight-haired; etc. Their lists can be lengthy and changeable. They want to be anything else except themselves. Dev Petty’s picture book I Don’t Want To Be A Frog hilariously captures these universal feelings of frustration which all of us have—children and adults. The comical illustrations by Mike Boldt are eye-popping and full of hidden jokes for the adult reader. (This is a definite plus because I predict, children will request this book over and over.)

Imagine being Froggy—wet, slimy, and stuck eating bugs—lots of them. I mean seriously, pretty yucky, right? He yearns to be cute, cuddly and warm like a cat or a bunny. He’s even willing to settle for a pig or an owl. Mama frog patiently points out all the reasons why Froggy can’t be other than himself. But the most convincing argument comes from a surprising source: a very hungry wolf. Wolf savors the taste of rabbit, owl, pig and cat but turns up his nose at the thought of eating a slimy, wet bug-eating frog. Froggy is relieved—and safe. He celebrates by dining on his favorite treat a succulent fly!

It’s easy to appreciate the obvious message conveyed in I Don’t Want To Be A Frog: being yourself is the best choice. For adopted children this is an especially pointed lesson. It offers a great talking point regarding the talents, inclinations and abilities which they received through their birth parents. Families can highlight and celebrate these differences as things of value.

Often we concentrate on identifying ways that our adopted children are like us. Commonality equates to connection. It is equally important, however, to notice, validate and encourage the differences which our children bring to the family. These add value, texture and variety and are an important part of them. These differences enrich our families; they do not diminish us. A Five Star read.

Enjoying the Magic of Invention and Self-discovery

Andrea Beaty has created a spunky heroine in Rosie Revere, Engineer. Behind the shrinking violet who fades into the background at school, Rosie is a visionary with big dreams of becoming a “great engineer” and the talent to match. She creates inventions from her vast collection of found “stuff.” Rosie Revere, Engineer does a fabulous job of capturing a young child’s creative delight and the immense pleasure they enjoy in sharing their creations with the people they love. (How many times have you heard a child chime, “Look what I made!” Remember their exuberance, their pride, their need to have your acknowledgement?)

As a young tot, Rosie proudly shares her inventions with family until the dreaded day that her uncle–gasp–laughs at her masterpiece. Rosie feels judged and belittled by his laughter. Despite Uncle’s reassurances to the contrary, she believes he’s laughing at her. In typical child-fashion, she generalizes from this one experience, is convinced she lacks talent, and is devastated. Fortunately, her drive to create is untamed but she decides not to share her inventions anymore.

“After that day [Rosie] kept her dreams to herself.” She’s lost her spark and sits in her classroom “not daring to speak.” Rosie hides her creations until her namesake, great-great aunt Rose appears on the scene.(Adults will recognize her as an echo of Rosie the Riveter a cultural icon of World War II fame.) The two are kindred spirits. The elderly aunt confesses that she has an unfulfilled dream: to fly. Her aunt’s admission rekindles Rosie’s courage and confidence in her ingenious inventions. Although Rosie fears failure, she embraces the challenge and sets out to create a flying contraption that will fulfill her aunt’s dreams.

Alas, her zany cheese-copter crashes. Just like the dreaded uncle, great-great aunt Rose laughs at Rosie’s designs but with joy not judgment. “You did it! Hooray! It’s the perfect first try! This great flop is over. It is time for the next!” Rosie learns to be proud of her failures, to round up her courage and keep trying until success is achieved.

David Roberts’ quirky illustrations are charming and so expressive. Each offers many discussion points to be mined. As I read this through an AQ* (adoption-attuned) lens, this story offers many wonderful nuggets. Themes that infuse the story include: diversity, “shyness’, recycling, ingenuity, viewing the world with an artist/inventor’s eye, women as capable, failing forward teamwork, confidence, resilience, persistence, being true to oneself, and owning one’s unique gifts. Wow! Jam packed, fun and visually delightful, this story offers an easy window to discussions about hidden talents and how they may have a genetic origin. This offers a natural segue to positive mention of birth parents and how biology helps to shape who we are.

I highly recommend this book. it is a five star gem.

I Had a Favorite Dress

Change is difficult for children. I was delighted to find this aptly titled book : I Had A Favorite Dress by Boni Ashburn and illustrated by Julia Denos. It connected with my own experiences. As a child, I too, had a favorite dress. It had a pale dreamy peach-colored bodice and a white knife-pleated skirt. How I loved that dress and how bereft I felt when I outgrew it. (More than fifty years later I can still picture it and how I felt when I wore it AND when it no longer fit.)

That dress represented so much to me. I felt pretty, stylish and grown up. It gave me confidence which, as a shy child, I valued. When it no longer fit, it was a tangible sign that I was different–older and the things expected of me were different. This both excited and intimidated me. Clothing plays an important role in expressing our individuality–for children and for adults. It’s the packaging we use to present ourselves into the world. So it is no surprise, to some of us, clothing is a Big Deal.

It certainly is to the spunky main character in this charming picture book. (She is unnamed and her ethnicity is open to interpretation. A silver star for diversity.) Like her, I loved “making things” out of stuff. (Still do!) At first, she despairs when her dress no longer fits, but then creativity inspires her! She devises a plan to reinvent her favorite garment and enlist her mother to accomplish the makeover.

With each reinterpretation, the original garment becomes smaller and smaller until barely a fragment is left– only enough to … Well, you’ve got to read the book to learn its final incarnation.

As always, I like to put on my AQ* glasses and view the book through the lens of Adoption-attunement. This book is a fun romp through creative problem-solving. It models a resilience to change without beating kids over the head with the message. (As adoptive parents, we are very familiar with how challenging change can be for our kids!) Kids will enjoy discovering how the little girl creates each new version.

Have some fun as you read the book. Pause to predict how you might reinvent the “dress” at each stage. Ask them to think about something in their own life which they treasure and which they are on the verge of “outgrowing.” How might they redesign it to extend its life? Mother encourages her “not to make mountains out of mole hills.” For kids with temperamental emotional thermostats, this is a way of watching others work through their “disasters.” The story easily lends itself to discussing recycling, and maintaining an attitude of possibility and solutions. Enjoy. I rate this book a five star read.

What Makes A Family?

As an adoptive parent, an adoption coach and a writer on adoption issues, I found In Our Mother’s House by renowned author, illustrator Patricia Polacco exceptional. As is probably obvious from the title, the story focuses on a/n (adoptive) family with two mothers. Readers searching for stories that include LGBTQ families will appreciate this upbeat and poignant tale.

Written as a flashback from a now-adult adoptee who recalls some treasured and delightful memories of her childhood, In Our Mother’s House focuses on the positives, on how families can look different but still be about the love and care that connect them. Lesbian parenting is not the focus of the book; it is the backdrop. The story concentrates on the warm, supportive and “regular” family that the children and their two mothers shared. Love, tolerance and joy thread throughout.

While most of the neighborhood characters welcome and embrace this unique family, one does not. Polacco makes the point subtly—the children wonder why Mrs. Lockner grumps at them whenever they meet her. The mothers concentrate on reaching out to neighbors (all of them) to create community.

The illustrations include a dazzling array of diversity. Many lend themselves to further exploration of cuisine, language and neighborliness, etc. Although the story is about a family formed through adoption, it doesn’t concentrate on adoption issues, makes no mention of the emotional struggles that adoptees often face nor does it mention birth parents, etc. In Our Mother’s House is a sweet, feel-good book about the wondrous blessing of a loving family. Great book!

12 Benefits of an Adoption Lifebook

Last week we discussed how books can be a useful tool for the adoptive family. This week I’d like to examine a particular kind of book that many of you may be unfamiliar with: the lifebook.

This is a unique and completely personal book that tells the story of your child’s life from the beginning. It includes the details from his birth and information about events before he was born.

Beth O’Malley, M.Ed, an adoptee, adoptive parent and adoption social worker, wrote “Lifebooks: Creating a treasure for Your Adoptive Child,” one of the best “how to” books on creating lifebooks. Their value to an adopted child can be huge. Taking the time to gather, save and record information, memorabilia, and photographs of the important people, places and events of a child’s life clearly conveys a vital message: his life story is valuable, worth remembering and worth retelling. A lifebook says, “Your story begins before adoption and because we love you, we value the history of your life from the beginning. We do not expect or require you to wipe the slate clean in order to embrace our joint life.”

Without these life-details, adopted kids report feeling rootless, at sea, hatched or alien. When parents capture the information and save it, they provide an affirmation and a tool that helps a child piece together their identity. Even in situations where almost no information exists, it is still possible and worthwhile to create a functional lifebook. Beth provides templates that will guide you through the process. She advises making it a family project. Here are some of the top reasons why your child deserves a lifebook.

1. Ground child in her history & beginnings Like all human beings, every adoptee was born, has a birth mother and birth father. Some adoptees were adopted at birth while others experienced lengthy intervals. Regardless of the amount of intervening time, every experience she faced and every person that walked through her life is an important element in her history.

2. Testimony to her history Beth O’Malley states that a lifebook“ honors every minute of … children’s lives.” It affirms their existence and allows parent and child to imagine being there together, celebrating her birth. It acknowledges the events that occurred in the child’s life and helps a child see what they faced, experienced and in some cases “survived.”

3. Physical tool A book is a neutral tool that allows a child to initiate adoption conversations. It gives her something tangible to frame her story and provides structure to her narrative.

4. Creates a normalizing effect Lifebooks document her life journey and identify ways in which she is just like other kids.

5. Provides Constancy and security The lifebook creates a permanent repository of children’s lives. Therapists and parents report that kids refer to it throughout their lives—even into adulthood.

6. Affirms the importance of her life from birth onward Asserts that her story deserves recording, repeating and revisiting. Intuitively, a child knows it takes time and effort to create a lifebook. At some level, a child infers that this means “she is worth it.”

7. Addresses difficult experiences Affirms the child’s survival of any difficult (sometimes horrific) circumstances and reiterates that the child is blameless for the events that led to his adoption. This helps a child to see himself as the hero of his own life.

8. Eliminates the temptation to “protect” a child from the tough facts of her life Information should always be shared in age-appropriate ways; tough stuff should not be withheld from a child. Secrecy generates shame and eventually secrets come to life. This revelation inevitably damages the trust relationship. “Unfortunately such well-meaning avoidance … leaves the child alone with his fantasies … and these are often more frightening, self-blaming and damaging than the actual facts.” Instead of hiding information, lifebooks allow parents (sometimes with the partnership of a therapist of social worker) to share it while being supported in the family.

9. Opens adoption conversations between child and parent Lifebooks provide a concrete place to start a conversation. A child can choose to read from the part of the book that connects with his current need.

10. Establishes a truth base which builds trust. Neither child nor parent has to put on a mask and pretend that adoption is loss and pain free or that certain events did not occur. This builds the family relationship on truth and encourages genuine connection.

11. Tracks the facts of her history and validates the emotions connected with them Lifebooks operate as a neutral container of the child’s life story line.

12. Builds foundation for attachment When you value my history, recognize my journey through difficulty and show I’m a survivor, it establishes that parents are strong enough to know the my story, accept it and love me–the real child who lived that story.

10 Great Things about Story Time: Beyond the Simple Page Turn

Books offer an amazingly rich resource for adoptive families. Beyond pretty illustrations or entertaining story lines, they offer adoptive families so much more. Here are ten benefits to consider.

1. Books create a cuddly moment when parent and child focus on a joint activity. This makes it an example of the proverbial “quality time” dearly sought by busy parents.

2. Reading together offers a great chance for dialog as parent and child chat about the story, ask and answer questions that arise and explore the illustrations. Parents may be quite surprised by the content of these discussions. Often hidden beliefs, misunderstandings and fears are exposed. Parents can correct any misconceptions, address any fears or concerns and enjoy discovering their child’s view of the world.

3. Reading together demonstrates that parents believe in the value of reading. This sends an important message because reading is a basic skill for school survival and success.

4. Books open a window onto a wider world. This allows children to learn how other kids think about and handle their adoption. This introduces them to their adoptive peer group which helps them understand they are not the only one in the adoption “boat.” They also discover that adoption, like families can take many shapes and look quite varied.

5. Books operate as mirrors when they include illustrations and story lines that reflect a child’s lived experience. A child’s shelf should include books that value who and what he is. They must depict more than the majority culture. Adoptive families have a vested interest in supporting multicultural books and “differences. After all adoption itself is a “different” way of building a family.

6. Adoption books can help children work through some of the “hard stuff” that is part of the task adoptees face. Be sure the family bookshelf is stocked with several quality books about adoption. This allows kids to choose a specific book from their shelf. Savvy parents will follow a child’s lead and will be aware of how a book affects their child. Read all or part of a book. Completion is not the goal. Connection and understanding is.

7. If kids never ask for an adoption book, put on your detective’s hat to discover why. Do you have a wide enough selection? Have you clearly conveyed that adoption is a welcome topic in the family? Verify that your child understands that adoption is a permitted topic. Many kids–accurately or not–believe that talking about their adoption distresses or overwhelms their parents. Other kids fear that bringing up the “harder stuff” might cause parents to “send them back.” In the absence of clearly demonstrated permissions, kids will stuff their curiosity, concerns and worries. Instead of depending on the parent, these kids shoulder their worries and stresses alone.

8. Books offer an easy non-threatening way for kids to bring up adoption. A child will rarely ask, “I’d like to talk about adoption.” But they will frequently pick a book off the shelf and request that it be read.

9. The same is true for parents. If they suspect a child is struggling with a part of his adoption experience, a book can offer a neutral way of introducing the topic.

10. Books can suggest ways of thinking about, handling and discussing adoption that neither the child or parent might develop on their own.

And a bonus:

11. When parent and child share a book that touches them deeply, that enables them to face the “big stuff” as a team, their relationship grows more intimate. Rooted in truth. Forged through facing difficulty together, their connection strengthens because they know it can handle their mutual reality, “warts and all.” Parents become the parachute that brings them safely to land on their feet.

In recent years, now-adult adoptees have spoken in great numbers to tell what did and did not work for them growing up adopted, as well as what they wish had happened. Their courage has expanded our understanding of what an adopted child needs. Their voice provides an inside track to understanding because they live(d) adoption. Their experience is undiluted, first-hand.

We must recognize that the voices of adult adoptees are precious, valid and offer an invaluable insight into the adoption experience. Their hard-won wisdom represents a treasure of insight to adoption professionals and adoptive parents and lights a path to a healthier adoption experience moving forward. Significant change has occurred in adoption practice during the past two decades and so much more remains to be done. We must be dedicated to our children’s Truth with at LEAST as much passion as we pursued their joining our families. Adoption is not a fairy tale with a perfect happily-ever-after ending. It’s complicated, rooted in loss and often clouded in euphemism. Listening to adoptees’ voices shows that we care about them, value their honesty and acknowledge that their adoption was/is not all rose petals and sunshine. Their losses are genuine and worthy of recognition. Books offer an excellent channel to accomplish that.

Authors Support National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. This year the emphasis focuses on sustaining sibling connections for youth in foster care and awaiting adoption. “Every November, a Presidential Proclamation launches activities and celebrations to help build awareness of adoption throughout the nation. Thousands of community organizations arrange and host programs, events, and activities to share positive adoption stories, challenge the myths, and draw attention to the thousands of children in foster care who are waiting for permanent families.” (U.S.Dept. of Health & Human Services)

It is appropriate that we celebrate National Adoption Month during this season of Thanksgiving. As parents, we have been entrusted with the privilege to raise children born to other women. We love and nurture them with an awareness that our greatest joy: their presence in our families–began in significant loss for them. This year while giving thanks for your many blessings, remember the birth parents who made such a commitment of faith in us. Continue your education as high AQ–Adoption-attuned–families. Deepen your understanding of the unique needs that adoption creates in a family. Live and love with an eye to the joy of the present moment and a heart filled with empathy, kindness and respect. Books offer a great resource to adoptive families for strategies, a sense of community or a great read for the children. These authors write about the journey that is adoption and as a National Adoption Month Special, the kindle versions will be available for $.99. We invite you to explore these books. (Excerpts are from Amazon)

Expand your adoption library and do it at a bargain price. After you read these books, post your reviews on Amazon and let other families know what you thought.

Gayle Swift – ABC, Adoption and Me http://amzn.to/19SgUr3

Named a Favorite Read of 2013 by Adoptive Families, (the award-winning national adoption magazine.) Named a Notable Picture Book for 2013 by Shelf Unbound in their Dec/Jan 2014 issue; Honorable Mention – Gittle List of 2014; Finalist; IPNE 2014 Book Awards , Honorable Mention 2014 Purple Dragonfly Book Award

A child’s review: “Most adoption books only talk about the good part of adoption. ABC shows adoption from the kid’s side.” ABC, Adoption & Me expresses their complicated feelings in a way that makes them feel normal and which makes it easy for them to discuss with their families. Includes a parent guide. ABC, Adoption & Me celebrates the blessing of family and addresses the difficult issues as well. Exuberant, multicultural illustrations depict a wide range of families

Jody Dyer – The Eye of Adoption www.jodydyer.com

“No one just adopts.” From the very first steps of acknowledging adoption as a choice to the final document that seals the deal, Jody Cantrell Dyer paints a raw, warm, heartbreaking and eventually triumphant portrayal that narrates the entire adoption process through compassionate and humorous prose. Dyer’s candor and soul color each page of The Eye of Adoption. She directly addresses the sorrows of infertility and the demands of adoption while consistently word-weaving a life rope of assurance, humor, and optimism for her readers. A middle-aged wife, mother, and teacher, Dyer “tells it like it is” in hopes that waiting adoptive parents, birthparents, adoptees, and those close to them will find kinship through her story.”

Tim Elder – 7 Steps to Domestic Infant Adoption http://www.infantadoptionguide.com/author/telder

This take-action resource guide will save you TIME & MONEY as it shows you what it takes to go through the domestic infant adoption process. It is packed full of over 100 links, tips, articles, and my personal adoption stories.
My name is Tim Elder – I’m an adoptive dad. I’ve been in your shoes. My wife and I went through a miscarriage and years of infertility before we adopted our children. We were blessed to adopt them as newborns – one in 2007 and one in 2012. After going through the domestic infant adoption journey twice, I have a strong desire to help others – like you – get through it so I created this guide to help you.

Deanna Kahler – From Pain to Parenthood http://goo.gl/EQUZtx

Follow one woman’s incredible and heartfelt journey from the pain of miscarriages to the joy of becoming a parent through adoption. Witness the many struggles that can permeate your life in the aftermath of pregnancy loss. Take a glimpse at the overwhelming desire some women have to become a mother. Celebrate the joy of overcoming adversity and achieving your dreams. Filled with honest, raw emotions and helpful coping tips, “From Pain to Parenthood” promises to touch your life with a real story that shows the power of the human spirit and the beauty of a mother’s love.

Finalist, 2014 Next Generation Indie Book Awards, Parenting/Family

Debbie Michael – But the Greatest of These is Love http://goo.gl/xasFwR

On a March evening in 2000, an unexpected and unsettling thought came out of nowhere, disrupting Debbie Michael’s comfortable life—adoption! It was neither her idea nor her desire to adopt; she was already the mother of three. Instinctively, she knew God was speaking to her, but she did not want to listen if His message required action as life-changing as adopting an orphan. Dread lingered in the aftermath of the disturbing suggestion, and a debilitating fog of uncertainty settled over her life. A journey of a thousand miles (or five thousand, in this case) might begin with a single step, but Debbie was not eager to take that first step. Though God was relentless, she remained adamant. She was determined to ignore the nudging. But God would not be ignored! God pried Debbie out of her comfortable existence and opened a door to a life she didn’t know existed. But the Greatest of These is Love is about much more than adoption. It is a story about the powerful and astonishing ways God uses ordinary people to accomplish His divine intention that we love one another.

Kristen Nicole – Our Road to Family http://goo.gl/0PXyVO

“My husband and I are adopting. Does anyone know what that means?” There was more than one answer to that question for Kristen and Dan, and this remarkable story takes you through their adoption journey from beginning to end. From fertility issues to two successful adoptions, Kristen eloquently sheds new light on each step of the adoption process. With an inviting and friendly style of prose, she guides readers through the heartache of having to let a child go and onto the joy of holding her child for the very first time. An honest portrayal of a different road to parenthood, this story affirms the real blessing that adoption can be.